Approach
“We wound alone, we heal together.”
—Dr. Jacob L. Marino, founder of Sociometry
My treatment is trauma-informed. I believe that there is nothing disorderly about so-called disorders: there is a reason for all of it. And there aren’t many mental health diagnoses that cannot be overcome if you are willing to put in the work. It is my goal to empower you to get to the root cause of your challenges; to gently peek beneath soil, rather than just clipping the leaves. This may sound intimidating, and we will go at your pace. It could be the adventure of a lifetime!
The following are theories and concepts that inform my approach to treatment:
Experiential
Life is about experiences. You develop and grow by learning from each experience. An expert could tell you what to do, but it would be theoretical rather than based on your experience, and therefore much less effective. And if the advice is unsolicited, studies show that you are likely to do the opposite, even if you agree with it, 🔗 because we all crave autonomy and self-agency. I believe in supporting and guiding you, rather than telling you what to do.
The Authentic Self and Inner Child
Have you ever spent time with an infant child and noted their zest for life? Maybe they enjoy running around, playing, and like to dance from time to time. When was the time you stopped dancing as a kid, and why? Social conditioning, both within family systems and wider society, often causes us to hide parts of ourselves; to adapt to get by. The therapeutic process involves identifying what parts you gave up and why, and choosing which parts you want to reconnect with. What is your authenticity? What would you want to show other people if you were fearless? What do you stand for? In this way, it is less about change than it is about re-revealing what is already there. Indeed, you have everything you need within you. You can dance again.
The Body (Somatic Therapy)
According to leading trauma researcher Bessel Van Der Kolk, trauma does not affect the logical, left-brain hemisphere, which governs your ability to process language and crunch numbers. Instead, it impacts the emotional right-brain hemisphere. Considering how difficult trauma is to endure, it is an expected, survival-oriented response for trauma survivors to disconnect from their emotions and their bodies – it is too painful to feel.
And yet, you must not forget that emotions are feelings; feelings are felt. They are sensations in the body. It’s one thing to say, “I love you,” and it’s another to be able to locate that feeling in the body. In many ways, this is what it means to be present and live a fulfilling life. You could talk about trauma for decades without healing it. To heal it, you must feel it. It is this part of my treatment, known as somatic therapy (to which Brainspotting belongs), that has enabled some of my clients to achieve their goals having spent years working with non-body-based therapists.
Hartmann, Matthias & Lenggenhager, Bigna & Stocker, Kurt. (2022). Happiness feels light and sadness feels heavy: introducing valence-related bodily sensation maps of emotions. Psychological Research. 87. 3. 10.1007/s00426-022-01661-3.
Systems Theory
I see people not only as individuals, but as possessing and belonging to various systems. Within a person there is the nervous system, the limbic system, the digestive system…all these systems are connected. Zooming out, everybody is part of systems, such as the workplace, school, and family. We will explore how your whole person has been shaped by experiences within all these systems. This may include ways in which you’ve been discriminated against or treated unfairly, what messages you received, and how this continues to show up in your life.
Community
We heal relational wounds relationally. When you are ready, I will invite you to join spaces that can be complementary to your individual therapy, including support groups and group therapy. You do not have to do this alone. There are millions of people doing this difficult trauma work as you read this. Some of them would probably like to support you, because connection is energizing. By connecting with fellow travelers, you can have corrective experiences: you may develop friendships with fellow deep thinkers who want nothing more than to enjoy your presence.
Attachment Theory
Attachment theory is the study of how people, especially during infancy, attach – or don’t – to their primary caregivers (usually their parents). This relational template is taken into adulthood. With hard work, it can be rewired!
Traditionally, there are four attachment styles: secure; anxious, dismissive avoidant; and fearful avoidant (the latter is a combination of anxious and dismissive avoidant). Attachment styles manifest as behaviors in relationships, for example they largely determine how much time you want to spend with your partner, and the resulting emotions if this need is not met. They also determine your appetite for conflict.
I go a step further and have taken time to understand the neurobiology of attachment: what is going on in your nervous system when you crave closeness with or distance from your partner? Inspired by Allan Schore’s Modern Attachment Theory, I recognize that attachment is highly dynamic: most people have both anxious and avoidant attachment, and get one from each of their caregivers.
Anxious attachment resembles hyperarousal (anxiety, inability to relax, emotional flooding, rage), while avoidant attachment looks a lot like hypoarousal (exhaustion, emotional deadness, dissociation, flatness). Conversely, secure attachment means being in one’s Optimal Arousal Zone: well regulated, calm, and socially engaged. Present. As such, I embrace the modern-day view of attachment as emotional regulation theory and offer clients tools to enhance your emotional regulation.
Holistic
An hour a week of therapy may not be enough to reverse what could be decades of emotional pain. I believe that therapy is the anchor that supports the process and I encourage you to explore complementary modalities such as art, exercise/fitness/body-based activities, meditation, reading, hiking, massage, connecting with nature, connecting with animals, and many more.
Neuroplasticity
Put simply, this is the brain’s ability to develop at any age. In practice, this means slowing down and giving it the ideal conditions for healing. Just as you would tend to a broken bone to speed up the healing process, so you must tend to your mind to promote positive change.
